Category: Uncategorized

I wrote this post because I’ve searched the internet far and wide for others who may be going through what I’m going through but it just really doesn’t exist since there aren’t that many surgeon’s spouses writing about it. All I find is people worrying about their significant other going into a surgical residency and not having enough time for them. I’m way past that. I knew it was going to be hard, but I wanted to know what it would be like exactly. Would it get better?

So it goes without saying that being married to a doctor who is essentially married to his work is tough. It’s especially harder when he is a resident…in surgery…in neurosurgery. It is for a fact the hardest and most demanding specialty. But not only is it hard on him, it’s hard on me too. It takes someone incredibly independent to marry someone who isn’t around so much. But, even independent people have their breaking points.

With social media, it doesn’t get easier. I see my friends with their significant others going on trips like every other month or going on weekend getaways. Long weekends aren’t a thing because currently, my husband works every weekend. Attending weddings together are nearly impossible. Attending an entire wedding reception together has happened 2 out of 4 times, not counting our own. The FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) is real, guys.

I don’t think there’s a single person I know that really understands all this except for those married to a surgical resident. No one can really grasp the hours put in. We have to be their entire support system when their patients die or they feel like they aren’t good enough. It’s a disaster if he’s had a rough day and I’m just grouchy. All the laundry, cooking, cleaning, groceries are on me and we don’t even have kids. And sometimes I just don’t want to do any of those things. There’s no way I could ask someone to really help out after working a 18 hour day but he still will load the dishwasher when he can. Poor guy.

We only live a 3 hr drive from our parents but going home together means going home for only 24 hrs because he gets one weekday off per week and that’s it. He hasn’t seen his family in 4 months while I saw my own plus his 2 months ago. He barely has time to talk to them.

But I know it will get better. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. His second year of residency, he will start getting two weekends off each month. We will be able to explore Vermont and Montreal more. We will be able to see our families more often.

I’m looking forward to it. And in 6 more years, hopefully all our sacrifices will have paid off.

Check Out Part 1 Here: Adulting 201: Furniture Shopping (Part 1)

My husband and I closed on our home in June 2017 and he moved in about a week later to begin his residency program. I moved in two months later after our wedding. Since then, I have been meticulously picking each piece of furniture for our home, but I was the most picky about our bedroom furniture. Well, eight months from closing and several stages later, we are done furnishing our master bedroom!

Stage 1:

Originally, we had a queen mattress with a simple metal frame. We had no other furnishing in our bedroom. This was fine initially. We shopped around locally for a queen bedroom set. We didn’t find anything we liked or it was too expensive for some very basic pieces. In this phase, we definitely had to put up some curtains so we built our color scheme off them.

Stage 2:

We have a 3-bedroom home so we knew we’d need at least one more mattress for guests. So we went ahead and bought a new king mattress for our bedroom. We moved the queen mattress along with its frame into guest bedroom #1. Then we unboxed our Nuvanna mattress, and on the floor it stayed for 4 months. Taking Instagram stories with this obvious faux pas has been a little embarrassing but I wanted to find a bedroom set I really liked and I was willing to wait. In hindsight, we probably should’ve purchased a frame and a box spring just to get our bed off the ground.

Stage 3:

I did consider shopping online for a king bedroom set but felt it could be too risky as we would be dropping at least $2000 on something we had never seen in person. We went to Ashley Furniture, the Superstore, and Wendell’s and weren’t sold on anything.

I checked out Bernie & Phyl’s website. Bernie and Phyl’s is a New England furniture chain that I really trust. My parents bought a bedroom set there and I, a couch. Anyway, I didn’t see anything I liked online. I decided to check out the store anyway when I went home last week just in case they had something that wasn’t featured online. I liked 3 different sets in-store:

Set 1 was pretty simple. Set 2 reminded me of Beauty and the Beast with the talking chest so I really adored it. The upholstery on it was light-colored and I think when I do have children, they will probably be monsters and ruin anything that’s light-colored so I decided against this one (although my mom said that none of my nephews and nieces did such things so she didn’t expect that out of my future kids…but my children will be monsters. I’m sure. My husband and I will yield some wild creatures). Also, I feel like I would grow tired of looking at Set 2 as it’s different and styles can change quickly. Set 3, the Dundee Place Panel Bed, seemed the most practical and modern, defined #adulting, and seemed evergreen.

Sets like these would be at least 2-3 times as expensive in most Vermont stores. I’m all for supporting local businesses but you just can’t when it comes to 4 figure differences in price.

Stage 4:

We then purchased a box spring from Amazon. I didn’t know this, but stores will give you two twin XL box springs to support a king mattress. The stores were charging $200-250 for this. Most box springs are also wooden. Amazon charged half as much for a king box spring and it was made of steel. We did have to assemble it ourselves which took 45 minutes and it wasn’t difficult.

After a tiresome search, I online-ordered a comforter set from Bed Bath & Beyond so if I didn’t like it, I could just return it easily in stores.

Stage 5:

Today, 2/14/18, everything miraculously arrived on the same exact day: the furniture, comforter, and box spring. After the delivery men set up the furniture, we assembled the box spring, made a quick trip to Home Depot, and made our bed. WE FINALLY WERE DONE!!!

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Hmmmm…I don’t think the pics do it justice, but we’re super happy with our room!

If you’re shopping for large pieces of furniture, be sure to see them in person and pay for the delivery and assembly! You don’t want to damage your home or break your backs carrying anything.

Thank you for reading!

XOXO Roni-girl (like XOXO Gossip Girl)

This post does contain affiliate links but all opinions are honest and my own. This post doesn’t contain any affiliate links from Bernie and Phyl’s and nor is it sponsored by them, although I wish it were.